A Letter to My Fellow Teammates Without Children

April 2016 Scrimmage

My Personal Cheering Section

This post was inspired by episode 75 of one of many podcasts that I listen to: Power Through the 4th whistle. The episode is titled "Pregnancy, Returning to Derby, and Finding Balance in Life." While I know my team will probably know all of these without even me saying it, I thought it may be helpful for me to process these thoughts and help out any other fellow derby players who are going through this phase of life in their derby journey. 

Dear Hearts,
First of all, I want to thank ya'll for the continued encouragement that you have given me throughout my derby career. This even goes way back to my rec days and continues up to the day when you all believed in me enough to invite me to join the team.

It took awhile for me to actually decide to try out for a home team. You don't know this about me yet, but when commit to things, I want to be able to give my best and execute it well. I don't like to do things half-well or simply do well enough. I am going to give you my best.  As the only mom to human children on this team, I just want to offer you some perspective.

1. I like you. I really do, and I want to hang out with you, but outside of practices, you are going to have put up with hanging out in short spurts of time with me (It's quality, not quantity, right?). Here's why: My three kids are involved in various activities and they need a chauffeur; Steve, my husband plays hockey (and I want him to pursue it as well); and on top of it all, at $15+/hour, childcare is expensive.  (So next time you go watch a movie, be thankful that you don't have to pay $45 on top of tickets and food for that to happen.) So this means I may have to jet out from a team gathering early, or show up to a social event slightly late. Please bear with me, it's a it's just a phase of life that I'm going through.

2. I apologize if I overly share things about my kids. I'm just so darn proud of them! Personally, I think this particular team will understand how deep a parent's love for their kids/pets can go (based on the number of pet pictures that are posted on the chat board) so just know that I know how much we love our animal family members. When my kids are grown and off to college, my phone album will probably return to being filled with pictures of my pets and pictures of my food, but right now is pretty much 95% kids. It's just a phase of life that I'm going through.

3. Being a mom doesn't define who I am. I may generally be a more nurturing in nature, but I'm more than just mom. For example, I'm super creative. While I wouldn't give up my adorable children, just know that I'm a little envious about the freedom that you have. For me, Derby is a fun outlet from my almost 24 hour role as a mom and I thank you for this amazing community where I can express who I am without being judged. Mothering, while I love it, but I need a break from it time to time. The motherhood journey can be crazy, but again, it's just currently the phase of life that I'm going through.

We don't have any family in town, but I feel like my kids are fortunate because they just gained a whole new family through derby. I'm excited for you all to get to know them and for them to get to know you.

Glitter Done!
Miso

I'm Drafted!

Tonight I found out that I was drafted by the Honkey Tonk Heartbreakers!

Photo Credit: Kassy Balli 

Photo Credit: Unknown.

The whole family was there to support me, and I wish I had gotten a picture of all of us at the draft party, but it was just overwhelming (and my kids were using my phone to play Pokemon Go).  I am usually awesome at taking pics of my kids, but when it comes to documenting my own life, I just check out. Anyways, I'll probably post more pics as I get them.

I'm definitely tired as I'm writing this, but I just had to make this post.

Glitter Done!

The Final Scrimmage

Last night, Smash Effect, who was a fellow rec-league skater, but now a Hustler, told me go 100%.  I tried my best tonight, but it was not by best. I am getting over a cold, I didn't get to eat dinner because the chicken on the grill was still half raw by the time I had to leave, and I had the shakes, maybe due to anxiety? Luckily Steve put an emergency pop tart in the car like 6 months ago, so I ran to the car before the scrimmage and took a few bites of the pop tart which helped a bit with the low blood sugar feeling. I took this picture before the scrimmage. 

Out of the 9 women who are in the training cohort, 3 of them are primary jammers. Only 1 of them was present tonight, Gory (who is an amazing jammer and person) had to drop out last minute and Diamond (who is also amazing and commutes from Houston, yes, Houston) had to work.  This scenario kind of forced me to jam a bit more than I had been previously comfortable with. Before the scrimmage, I had set a goal to jam 3 times each half... I ended up jamming every 3rd or 4th jam and with the help of my blockers, got lead several times!

Peacewar was on the opposite team and she was playing every jam! I said a little prayer. And then a miracle happened, second half, she joined our team! I definitely let out a sigh of relief when that change happened.

I skated my hardest. I skated for my trainers.  I skated for all the friends I've made along the way. I skated for myself.

I will probably be sore tomorrow. I had 2 big falls where I fell on my hip. I already see a bruise developing, but for some reason, I don't think it will look as awesome as it feels. (Derby bruises often work that way. It's the ones that just show up from nowhere that are the cooler looking ones.)

Team Taco went to Tamale house for drinks and tacos afterwards and on the drive home, my message feed started going crazy. As soon as I arrived home, I checked my phone for the anticipated e-mail. Nothing. Remembering that this happened last time, I logged on my computer and checked, sure enough, I got a message from Nine that said,

"Congratulations!  You have been drafted to one of the Texas Rollergirls home teams!" 

So that's it. I made it on a team. I get to find out what color I get to upgrade my Skater On Tap bandana to this Sunday.

It broke my heart when I found out about the women who were not drafted. In my mind, I had always thought, that if I made it in, all the others would too. I hope they will take advantage of The Skater on Tap program, which has been key to developing me into a better skater.

Quick shout out to Lethal, OJ, Grit and Mega who did an amazing job training the Homies. I attribute most of my improvement in the past few months to these awesome leaders, along with the other Homies who I had the opportunity to skate with.

The journey does not stop now. It's only begun and it's so exciting!

One More Practice Until The Draft

The timestamp of this picture dates back to Nov. 24, 2013. The person in the background (horrible picture of her, BTW) was the friend (Bad Asstatine) who got me into derby in the first place. This was my first scrimmage after assessing out of primer for the first time. Nathan was just 1 year old. I had just gotten a taste of derby but the season ended, and so I became pregnant with Hannah.

The timestamp from this picture dates back to June of 2016. At this point I had passed through primer again and skated for a few more months before TXRG lost the shed. But I remember one day, our trainer, Mo asked each of us what our derby goals were. One by one, people spouted out their goals: I want to be on the travel team one day; I would like to get on a home team, etc. When it was my turn, I gave my at that time realistic goal of just staying in rec-league to become a better skater. The idea of even skating at the level of my trainers seemed so far away to me. 

Well, fast forward to November of 2019: We have one more practice before I find out if I get drafted as a Texas Rollergirl!

Anxious is probably an understatement.  I can tell when I've been thinking about something a lot because I start to dream about it.  Last night I dreamed about Math Pentathlon (because I'm coaching it and we had a practice today) and the draft. I dreamed that I was the only person not drafted. Yikes! 

I wish I could confidently say that I know that at this moment, I've got what it takes to be drafted. I mean, there are a few girls in the pool who I just know will be drafted. They are just that good. But I have doubt and some insecurities about my abilities.  There are practices where I leave feeling great about what I accomplished that day. (My hockey stops are improving and on slicker floors, I'd say that they are actually pretty good.) But then there are practices where I get blown across the line by Peace War, that I am reminded just how inexperienced of a skater I am.

In the past 6 months (since I last tried out) I've definitely noticed a big improvement in my skills. I am waaaay more stable as a blocker and can do a fair job of defending against a non-travel team skater. I've even become more confident as a jammer as I have become more comfortable on my toe-stops and have become stronger to push through walls.  I am agile. I'm starting to understand more of the big picture of derby, and I know with more game play and spectating, I'll start to be able to come up with strategy in the moment.

We scrimmage this Thursday. I'm going to give it my best. When I jam I'm going to imagine my baby is on the other side and fight. I'm going to track jammers by staying low and stable. I'm going to open up holes for the jammer by playing O. I may  will even hit a friend or two, or three. Oh, and if I make a team, I get to unlock an achievement reward: a new pair of skates.

Thursday. [breathe]

Jammer Focused Practice: Mind Blown!

Happy Birthday, Bohnnes! (It's probably spelled wrong...sorry)

Ya'll! Tonight was probably one of the most pivotal practices that I've had in my derby career. I'm tired, I have a long work day ahead of me tomorrow, but I have to document this before I forget. 

Awesome jammer-specific practice! I wanted to get a picture with Hauss, but she had to rush off to travel team practice. 

 So one of my derby idols, Hauss the Boss, led our practice tonight. I remember seeing her jam in the first derby game ever that I watched on Youtube and I was amazed with her agility, speed and sweepy line to line movements. Fast forward to try-outs, she has been nothing but positivity and encouragement. Unfortunately she is retiring (hopefully she'll come back soon) after this season, but I even had the privilege of chatting with her during a shift at the ticket booth and she is a totally cool chick! Best of luck Hauss, as you do all the adulting things!

Up until today, I have always found it difficult to get past a wall without the help of offense. Taking the line was pretty much a sentence for me to be knocked out of bounds, but today, Hauss broke things down and I feel way more confident taking the line to get past blockers.

You can definitely say that tonight's practice helped me fall in love with jamming a little bit more...

We first talked about ineffective practices of jammers. Then, she showed us a move that helps us move the blockers line to line, but then sets us up in a position to be explosive. You basically do a mohawk and then you put the toe stop down from the non-leading foot. We practiced that going line to line. It was weird at first, because it's the opposite of what I usually do, but I started to see how much more nimble and agile that helped me to be.

Then she taught us how to use the mohawk to whip our hips in front of the blocker, while using our opposite shoulder to catch them.  Essentially, you get to use the blockers momentum of pushing you to propel you forward.

The final skill that she taught us to do extended the previous skill a bit, but this time, getting low and sticking your butt out as you move away from the pack after the whip around.

One of our last drills was led by Lethal, another amazing all around derby player and trainer. She worked with us on juking

At the end of practice, we scrimmaged and I was able to get around the blockers using the skills that I learned tonight. A week ago, if put in the same situation, this would not be the case.

I'm excited to see what other skills are out there for me to pick up. I now feel more confident to jam and that's a win! Thanks Hauss!

The Interviews

So this afternoon, we had the "speed dating" style interviews. We met at the Highball, which is one of the league's sponsors. Each set of team captains sat at a little booth and we all took turns in a rotation and talked with each team for 5 minutes.

The most asked questions are as follows:
- Why Texas Rollergirls?
- Why are you trying out now?
- What sort of cross training do you do outside of derby?
- What can you bring to the team?
- How do you handle conflict and drama?

Other more interesting questions included:
- How do you react when someone makes you angry on the track?
- How do you feel about being told what position to be trained as?
- How do you feel about being a benched player?
- What sort of commitments do you have outside of derby?
- What hobbies do you do outside of derby?
- Would you be willing to lift weights besides doing body pump?

I pretty much kept it real, even exposing some of my weaknesses to the captains when appropriate. I figured, they need to know what they are potentially getting involved with. Being so vulnerable and open about my weaknesses actually affected me more than I thought it would. I think at times we try to bury our weaknesses, focusing on our strengths, so when those weaknesses are brought to the surface, it does not make you feel too fabulous.

The Hells asked me to give them a 1 statement elevator pitch about myself. I was a bit surprised because the other captains basically asked me specific questions for me to answer. Bragging about myself was probably the most nerve-wrecking part of the interviews.

Given some time to think of it, I think this is what mine would be.

I am creative and I like to solve problems. As a "Jack of all trades" who loves to learn and figure out how things work, I always give it my best. 

While we were waiting for our next interview, we had some time to mingle and one of the questions that we discussed was who would be your top choice. Everyone was reluctant to share, but eventually we all did. I already had given some thought about who would be a good fit on what team, so to hear their answers was kind of a neat confirmation of my suspicions.  (My predictions for the mid-season try outs were mostly wrong, but it's fun to think about.)

When I went into the interviews, I also went in with the mindset of figuring out what role each team could potentially play in my derby journey and interestingly, I've come to conclude that each team would contribute something very different to my growth path... which is pretty amazing in itself.

All this speculation is fun and super exciting, but I need to get drafted first.

6 more practices.

- 

Half way through try-outs!

Silly Picture! Photo Credit: Booty Queen

Practice with the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers
Today we skated our final home team practice with the Hearts. The practice was a bit more lower in intensity, but for the most part 50% of the practice was what we did with all of the teams. I like that there is some consistence across the league, but that each team also has the freedom to do their own thing their own way.
The Hearts are definitely a Hufflepuff team, on the Enneagram, as 6w7 or a 7w6.

I've skated with many of the girls on this team this summer when I skated with the Homies, so it was a very comfortable environment for me. Trigger, one of the captains, also happens to be my "Big" and has been super supportive throughout this journey.

For each of the practices, I've been mostly blocking, but jamming a few times here and there. As I am trying to figure out what position I like best (I feel like I'm both still pretty weak at both positions), I have been gravitating towards working on blocking because I feel like any derby player needs to be a decent blocker.

I've been watching a lot of footage, specifically watching Hauss, OJ, Trigger, Zook, Darbie, and Grace on how they get through strong walls and I've learned that 1. It's ok to be hit out, and that sometimes when you get hit out, you gain a little bit more control of the situation and have a better chance of getting through. and 2. When a jammer is really stuck behind a solid wall, offense is key to get her out.

I'm still working on my hockey stops. Now I'm working on making them more sharp and snappy and also improving on my weaker, outside hockey stop. For blocking, I'm really trying to focus on getting low and making as much body contact with the jammer as possible. And then when jamming, I'm really trying to add in more jukes and fakes before I hit.

Today I didn't do my best with blocking, but I was able to get out of the pack a few times with the help of amazing offense from blockers. I even got whipped twice by Manecki, something that has never happened to me before. She basically was able to see an opening, grab my shirt and swung me around an opposing blocker and then I got through. I really enjoyed skating with her today. She's got a calm intensity vibe and really knows the game well. #derbygoals.

Tomorrow, we have interviews with the captains. I was told that each person basically goes before a panel of captains and are asked a bunch of questions. I'm actually super excited about this part of the try-outs and hope that I can remain authentically me and not revert to mirroring the people I talk to.

So then, we have 6 more practices until we find out if we get drafted and then the draft party is at the Highball on Nov. 24th from 3-6 pm.

1/3 of the Way Through New Skater Training

On Thursday, our practice got rained out, so we did some derby talk about hip positioning and most people went on to get tacos. I think our group name may very well be Team Taco. So then, today we were invited to practice with the Hotrods.

Hotrods Practice 

So many people who have played a pivotal part in my training are Hotrods: Lethal, Sum, OJ, Nine. I also skated in rec with Grace and cheered her on as she got drafted into Texas Rollergirls, made Travel B team, and then Travel A team. Many of our league's leaders are also Hotrods. 

During mid-season try-outs, I attended a small Hotrods practice because the travel team was away. At that time, I had decided that the Hotrods were an 8 on the enneagram. Well, I'd also like to add 3 to the mix: The achiever. The way they set up their practice shows just this. They got down to business, and were very efficient with their time. Practice was intense.  

At our social hour after practice, there were some icebreaker-type questions and a big topic was food and then we ended with the Hogwarts house question. Surprisingly, maybe not so surprisingly, but many of the hotrods are fittingly Griffyndor or Slytherin. 

It's so interesting how the league is made up of a conglomeration of people, but then when you get down to the teams, there's really distinct personalities that fit in each. 

We focused much of the practice on wall work: catching the jammer in various situations. My goals coming out of this practice as a blocker is to work on staying low when I am adjusting my body positioning. I'm doing fairly well tracking the jammer, but when I hold her, all it takes is a quick bump and I'm standing too tall to be as strong as I would like to be. 

As a jammer, I want to work on more explosive juking and changing of directions. It's very difficult for me to get around a group of 3-4 blockers especially when I have no O to help me through. I also need to work on line work so that when people push me out of bounds, I can maybe use their momentum to propel me forward on the track as I do a fancy spin move or something. 

I'm going to continue to strengthen my legs and I'm going to start doing some footwork/toestop work on the days I don't have practice or a chance to get to the gym. 

This coming week we have 2 more practices and then we skate with the final team: the Honkeytonk Heartbreakers. Then, after that we have 3 more weeks of practice, followed by the draft party. 

Hips Don't Lie

My awesome "Big" Trigger noticed that I was carting my gear around in a laundry basket. She got me this rad skate bag! Thanks Trigger! 

In the past 11 days, I have put on skates and skated for 7 of them. My pads definitely need a good washing. Currently, I have bac-out, which is an enzymatic cleaner soaking through the foam, working its magic against the funk, and then I'll put them through the wash and let them air dry before practice on Tuesday. It's still pretty hot outside, so I'm pretty sure they'll dry up really quickly.

Skating with the Hells
Today, we skated with the Hell Marys. Despite what others have told me, I found their team environment to be super friendly and I really like that they focus their practices on drills -- because in the long run, that's just going to make you that much better. We worked on tracking and hitting a person rolling--something I am very nervous about doing. I know what you are thinking, you play derby, you hit people...but the protective instinct in me doesn't want to hurt them, so I think it makes me extra focused on executing the hit just right, so it's not done in a dangerous and reckless way. Basically, I over think it. We have not spent a lot of time on hitting, so this drill today was super helpful. A few things to remind myself when I'm tracking and hitting another player:

• Look at their hips and get in front of them just a little. 
• Make contact with your hips and side meat. 
• Swoop down low, and drive with your outside leg, up and out. 
• Position yourself to contain. 

As I'm typing this, it seems so easy. But when you throw skates and moving feet into the mix, things get a little complicated. You have to stay low step up and in at the right time, come in a good angle, and all the things. 

We also did a drill where as a team, you have to travel either to the front or back of the pack while the other team is preventing you from doing so. This was the ultimate test for me because I committed so many penalties, (mostly directional and then leaving the track so I can join my pack in the back). 

This is another reason why I love derby it's definitely a complicated sport and it keeps me on my toestops just thinking about it. 

Scrimmage against TFR

October 11th 2019

When I first found out that Fifi-nomenon and Jackie Daniels were on TFR, I basically had heart palpitations for a few moments. Grit, along with others reassured me that it will be just fine.

And then I lined up with Fifi-nomenon on the jam line. 

Considering we only had 10 players on our team for this scrimmage, we did Ok.  Our jammers were getting tired/injured towards the end of the game, so I started wearing the star a bit more then. I never got lead jammer, but I learned a lot of offensive strategy from this game. At the beginning, I was constantly being randomly just knocked down out of nowhere. I was also able to plan ahead and track the opposing jammer a bit more. I held Jackie Daniels for at least 3 seconds! 

You can probably tell, but throughout the game, I had several fangirl moments where I would just stand with my mouth basically agape after witnessing greatness from some of the TFR skaters.

And then my friend Jammit skated the entire scrimmage WITHOUT TOE STOPS. She is an amazing skater and probably the most positive person you could ever meet.

It was also super cool to see a few of my buddies from rec league. Railgun and Chile were all friendly faces in the opposing team, which made things a bit less nerve wrecking for me.

At the end, I really felt like I was having fun and at the 4th whistle of the last jam, I was actually kind of disappointed that the game had ended. TFR girls have such a great attitude and I really enjoyed skating against them. 

Try-Outs for the 2020 Season Begin!

On October 13th I started the try-out process again with 9 other women. And out of the 10 of us, we all made it on to the next round. This was great news because I really like all 10 of these women and would've been sad to see any of them to not make it. I technically didn't have to attend the official try-outs, but I ended up going because extra time on skates is always a good thing. 

We went through the basic skills: stops, skating in pack, blocking drills, jamming drills, and ended with a scrimmage. It was a full 2.5 hours of skating. 

Comparing this time around with my previous try-out experience, it was almost like night and day. I can really see how much I've improved in the past 5 months. I feel way more comfortable on my skates, I can do a hockey stop now (still working on going towards the outside) as long as my wheels are hard enough for the surface, and I feel more confident in my blocking and strategic thinking on the track, and I'm getting stuck less when I jam. I felt more confident this time around. 

I used to get knots in my stomach every time I even thought the word "derby." I wasn't sure why I felt those sensations, but I think I was still very nervous. I'm happy to say that I don't get those knots (as often) nowadays. 

The women I skated with have skills that ranged from skaters on Team Texas to a skater whom I skated with briefly in rec. Since then, one of us has decided not to continue, so now we have 9 skaters in the pool. 

We snapped this quick picture before the rain poured down during our orientation/1st practice. We are missing 2 skaters, but this is the 9 of us. 2 people are driving up from San Antonio and 1 person is driving in from Houston for. every. practice. Now that is a lot of dedication! 

Heavy storms joined in on our first practice, so we just had a land conditioning practice. The second practice was back to basics with stops and skating form. I need to work more on my left  outer edge. Lethal suggested that I skate in small circles when I can to get me more confident with that edge.

The Hustlers
Besides our Tuesday and Thursday evening practice, we will be invited to skate with each of the home teams. Today, we skated with the Hustlers who are a very fun, glitter obsessed bunch of women. I finally got to meet the famous PB&J who also happens to be one of the Hustler coaches.

Afterwards we had lunch at a local taco place and on the way there, I spotted this crazy sight...only that the tail was actually sticking straight up into the air. I took this pic on the way back and by then the tail had fallen down more horizontal. It was a crazy sight. Anyways...sorry. Just felt like sharing. 

The lunch was fun. Being a mom I'm pretty well versed in the latest child-raising theories and mom hacks, but I am pretty in the dark about anything remotely related pop culture. I think the hippest thing that I know is the baby shark song... oh, and I know the floss and what it means to be "woke". So, I had a quick crash course to update me on some of the latest things. I now feel just a little bit cooler. 

The captains asked us questions like which Hogwarts house? (Hufflepuff) Dog or Cats? (Dogs) and How do you feel about glitter? (Awesome, as long as it's biodegradable l, because plastic glitter is horrible for our aquatic ecosystem). We ended the lunch with good-byes and hugs. Yay Hustlers! 

Tomorrow we skate with the Hell Mary's. Oh by the way, I never realized that all the teams in the league have names that start with "H." That's just crazy sauce. Hustlers, Hotrod Honeys, Honkey Tonk Heartbreakers, Hell Marys and Homies. 

Scrimmage vs. Chainsaws

I got lead jammer once (and scored points) tonight when the Homies scrimmaged against the Chainsaws (TXRG's travel B team).

How did I do it? Well, first of all, my blockers did an amazing job and holding the other team's jammer. And second of all, I imagined that the Chainsaws took my baby. In a video on how to be more aggressive, Miracle Whips suggested that you imagine that the other team has your cat and you need to get it back. Well, I hate have a strong aversion against cats, so I imagine that my baby was on the other side of the blockers and that I had to get to her. You think I'm joking...

Haus the Boss complimented me on my smart playing, specifically times when I would pass the panty or call off a jam. Haus the Boss y'all. She has been so encouraging and I am sad that she's retiring.

Overall, I need to still sit lower. I think I did an OK job of tracking the jammer, but when push comes to shove (haha that's a pun), I still am not strong enough to contain her by myself.

Another thing I need to work on is getting low and pushing up and out when playing offensive.

I had to privileged of  playing with Freight Train, Nine Lives, and Peace War. Freight brings a sense of calmness on the track. Nine plays smart and is great at communicating, and Peace War ups the intensity in the game.

BTW: I changed out my toe stops to some super gumballs. Oh my, I love them! I feel more confident and I feel like I can really just bounce back after getting hit out. But bad news is that when I was tightening the hex nut to hold them in place, my plate got cracked a bit, right at the front where the toe stop is.

Why I Derby

I thought it would be fun to flex the brain muscles, or would it technically be fire the brain neurons...anyways, I wanted to really reflect on why I derby. So here it goes.

1. I love skating. I started skating in the second grade. My dad put a pair of skates on me and I learned on top of a bomb shelter in a Taiwanese military village.

2. Derby is hard. Thinking back, picking up a new skill or hobby has always been relatively easy for me. I'm a quick learner, but I really love the challenge that Derby is providing me. Being able to stand firm as a 150 pound skater accelerates towards you, all this while on 8 wheels, is definitely no small feat to accomplish.

3. I'm facing my fears and finding my identity. All my life, I've been a people pleaser, and I've changed my personality to fit with others. I'm using this stage in my life to finally figure out who I am. I am a 9 on the Enneagram, which explains this behavior, but I want to do better. I am so inspired by my children as they fearlessly jump into the swimming pool, or attempt a jump on their scooter. I want to face my fears of insecurity, safety, and failure; overcome them; and come out the other end a better person. I also want my children to see me do all the tough things and be able to persevere through the tough times. Life will be tough.

4. I love the community. Derby community is probably the most encouraging and inclusive group of people ever. Once you get past the tough girl persona put on by many of the colored-hair and tattoo covered women, you find someone so loving and accepting inside.

Well, that's it for now. I'll think of some more and add it to the list.

Boot Camp

Today I was able to attend the pre-tryout bootcamp with the league. First of all, I didn't think I was going to be able to go because I had no one to watch Hailey during the camp. I posted on the board last week and got no replies. Then, this morning, Zook messaged me and asked me if I still needed childcare. I replied with, "sure!" and then I asked her what her rates were and then she said, "Don't worry about it." I was completely surprised, speechless and so grateful for the love and support that came from this gesture.

The boot camp was pretty much what I expected: we ran through the basic minimum skills and ended with some jam starts with different twists. One scenario, we added an O and then another scenario, random people were assigned to go help out or defend against the jammer.

After 4-5 months of officially skating with the league, I feel like my confidence level and skill level have improved so much. I no longer feel like Bambi on skates and usually, I have a pretty good idea of what is going on, on the track. This is a good feeling.

Official try-outs are on October 13th and then there's regular new skater training for about a month and right before Thanksgiving, we find out whether we get drafted onto a team or not.

Bout #1 Homies vs. Bandidas

This game happened 8-17, so about 4 weeks ago. I was a bit nervous, but mostly excited to play my first game.

I set the following goals for myself:

Jam at least once during each half. (This didn't happen, but I did jam 3 times in the second half) 

Get lead jammer once: check 

Sit on the jammer while tracking them closely. [mostly check, but in derby, you can ALWAYS get LOWER!] 

 In the picture below, I'm pivoting with the jammer penny in my hand. What I could've done better was get lower to create some space between the blockers in front of me. They are basically standing straight up (I am too) :P

 So I got out, and as I was making the turn, my skate started to slip from under me, I put down my toe stops and prevented myself from falling. Whew, that floor at the venue is slick!

Again, way too high up. Get lower!

 So, this lady, is the person who got me into this mess. She's currently preggo with her 3rd child, but I have a feeling that she will be returning to derby at some point.

 Get lower to block. I'm basically standing straight up.

So in the end, I need to get lower, and tonight's practice with Gypsy helped with this immensely. I think I've done a pretty good job with my previous 4 goals, (of course I still could use some work) but I think its time to set some new goals.

1) I want to get lower and to do that, I need to develop those muscles.
2) I want to be more explosive and quick with my sprints and hits. I know I have sprinting and speed in my back pocket, I just need to release it and be comfortable with releasing it while on 8 wheels.

I have a month before try-outs so this will be a good time to develop muscles so that I can be a stronger blocker and a more explosive jammer.

That's it for now!

Miso

#SettingGoals

Well, quick update: I didn't make it.

However, the league did create an entire new program for us (I like to think because we are just awesome and they want to keep us around) called Skaters on Tap. The deal is that we would become a part of the business, pay dues, have league jobs, and in return, we get to train with the league during league-wide practices. We also get to join the Homies, which to me seems like is made up of anyone who is not on the travel team, who want to travel and play other people outside the league.

So, for the past 2 months, I've been skating with the Texas Rollergirls

And it is freaking awesome!

I've been learning so much and I can actually watch a live feed derby game without having to play it at half speed. This to me is pretty big.

I still feel like Bambi on skates sometimes, especially when I am blocking on people legends like Freight, OJ, and Gravy, but I've been just doing the best that I can and I love how supportive everyone has been.

Fast forward to last night. We had a scrimmage night where we played each other with a few travel team players sprinkled in. I was so excited to test out all the new skills that I had picked up during these past few months of practice and to tell you the truth, I was completely overwhelmed.

By the 2nd jam my weaknesses were already exposed clearly and by the end of the night, I was completely bombarded mentally with all the things that I need to do better. So, I e-mailed my big Delirium Trigger and I asked her about setting goals. I think I'm supposed to be a jammer eventually, but I feel like I need to be able to block before I will be remotely close to being an effective jammer. Who knows, I may like blocking in the end... but anyways, I wanted to ask her thoughts about whether or not I should specialize in jammer skills or blocker skills, or if I should just learn both as I go.

She suggested both, but if I were working on blocker drills, I should be thinking about how to take advantage as a jammer.

And then she reminded me about reverse engineering when it comes to setting goals. After thinking about this, I decided to work on the following:

1) Making quick lateral cuts :
To do this, I will need to solidify my hockey stop, perform squats to strengthen the muscles, and work on consecutive explosive pushes ( as opposed to a single drive).

2) Being able to track and create a strong wall: 
To do this I need to strengthen my core and legs so that I can drop lower. Work on really feeling the jammer with my body and turning in/out slightly to catch any creepage. I also need to work on plowing hard into the ground. *I actually had a lightbulb moment tonight when MegaHurtz pointed out that I can turn my body a bit to catch the jammer before I square back up again. Also when anticipating a catch, Peace suggested that I start moving my feet so that I can get going faster. And gravy suggested that I bend over to make my body horizontal to give myself more area to catch an incoming jammer. I then put these pieces of advice into practice and now I feel like I am MUCH more stable.

3) More fluid and exaggerated jukes 
To do this, I need to work on agility and making quick lateral cuts (see #1) Once I can stop quickly on a dime, I should be able to juke and change directions a bit better.

4) better transitions between  toestops and rolling.
To do this I just need to spend more time on my toestops. I need to get over the fear of falling over flat on my face and just practice toestops to rolling and rolling to toestops.

Tonight's practice, we worked on #1,2,3 and by the time I left practice, I felt so good about improving in those areas. Now, are they perfect? No, but I can tell I got better and that's all that counts, right?

Last Practice? Results Tonight

The commute to practice is exactly 30 mins. So I've been able to polish off entire novels, meeting my 1 book a month goal that I set for myself even before Hannah was born. Tonight was my last practice as a new skater and I find out in a mere few hours if I will be drafted to join Texas Rollergirls. The book played, but I don't remember a single event that happened. My mind was just replaying moments from practice, really throughout the whole process.

If I don't make it, I totally would understand. There's other opportunities for derby in Austin and I can grow there.

But if I do make it, holly cow! To be able to skate with and learn from the best in the world, would totally knock my socks off. Every practice I see these athletic women doing amazing things with their bodies and it's always so inspiring!

All day my stomach has been doing flips the moment I think any derby thoughts. As I left practice, knowing that my derby career for the next few month was already predetermined (apparently the draft happened before tonight's practice) I sighed a breath of relief.

News to follow!

Team Practice with the Hearts

Tonight I practiced with the Heartbreakers and I was super impressed with the team culture. They actually had me take on the jammer role for the drills and I didn't die, so maybe I'm more of a jammer type.

Oooh, so I also jumped over defense for the first time. It was kind of like an apex jump, but just on a straight away. I was kind of surprised that I actually made it, and it was definitely a confidence booster for me. I was however getting stuck behind walls a lot. I'm still fall victim to Jamnesia as I get stuck in the zone and forget about the star pass option. Overall, it was a fun night and as always, I learned a lot about body positioning.

So after skating with the Texas Rollergirls, just for fun, I've actually assigned each team an Enneagram number, and since you are not supposed to type people, I'm just going off of my perception of each team. The Hotrods are like 8's. The Hells are like 1's, the Hustlers are like 4's and Hearts are like 6's. Of course these are just generalizations because within each team, there is a range of personalities from 1-9, which is why the derby culture is so amazing!

One More Week of Try-Outs

So this past week has been pretty full of derby for me. Following last Tuesday's post, I joined in on the Hotrods' practice on Thursday, had league practice on Saturday, scrimmaged with the home teams on Monday and then had practice again tonight. On Thursday I'll be joining the Heartbreakers' practice, followed by a Saturday practice and then one last Tuesday practice before finding out if we are drafted or not.

I'd say at this point, I'm encouraged enough to say that there is a small chance that I may be drafted. While I still feel like I am the least experienced on the team, I am a quick learner and I think that is a plus.

Practice with the Hodrods was very intense. OJ led the practice and we learned about pack scenarios and positioning. I learned through that practice when you should be at the front of the pack and when you should be at the back.

On Saturday, we worked more on Offensive blocking and we practiced different types of catches: hooking and posting.

On Monday, we scrimmaged and I really got a chance to 1) feel how weird the flooring is at Austin Sports Center (it's like floating laminate tiles) 2) practice offensive blocking in game scenarios and 3) learn about body positioning when blocking the jammer at the front of the pack. I ended up getting lots of penalties for track cuts, but I know I'm taking more risks with taking the outside or inside lanes as a jammer. I just need to have more explosive starts. I currently feel like I'm just a split second behind and that I have lead blocks on my feet.

Tonight's practice focused on power. Tear coached us tonight and I always love listening to her explain things. She is so aware of body mechanics and can really break things down and trouble-shoot what you are doing or not doing. We worked on loading our legs a certain way and then moving the opposing blocker out of the way. Power comes from "chambering" or loading up our body in a way so that we can gain momentum during the hits.

I also learned that I need to get lower. -- said no derby player ever.

I look back to the first few practices and I feel like I am more in my element. I'm more at ease and I am feeling so encouraged by the other women. Remember when I wasn't sure if I was in love with the idea of derby or the actual playing? Well, it's even more clearer to me now and it's pretty evident that I'm in love with the actual game...and the people.

I remember when Sum asked if I wanted to try-out. I quickly told her, "I just can't. I have 3 kids." Now I can say "I need derby in my life because I have 3 kids!"

Bruises are starting to become more apparent, and today one person actually asked me about mine (which I thought would've happened earlier). It's funny how they look so bad, but I really don't even remember how I got them.

I've been trying to catch some games on youtube when I can. I typically will watch the games at 75% speed and at that speed, I feel like I can better follow what is going on. I'm going to keep trying to watch more games when I can, and hopefully I will be able to watch (and know what's going on) at regular speed soon.

Try-Outs Part 2

Rain has dampened our practice schedule so we've had less time on skates with canceled practices here and there. We've been really working on offensive weaving, to help open up space for the jammer. The first skill that we have been working on are lateral cuts in to take someone's space followed by containment (by sitting).

I'm finding it difficult to get the power needed to take someone's space. I think when I cut in, I am pretty much faced with enough force that I simply contain them, not really moving anyone out of their space at this point. But on the flip side, I'm not being launched when I get hit, so that's a gain for me.

Last practice I had a wide eyed moment when I saw an amazing jammer just zip through the pack like it was nothing. She was aggressive, fast and didn't let anyone get in her way. They called her OJ. So curious, I looked up to see what team she played and I didn't find anyone with a name related to orange juice, but then I see a picture of someone who resembles her, and it was Olivia Shootin' John. I had a fan girl moment. I got to skate with THE Olivia Shootin' John!

So tonight, as I was gearing up, guess who sat down right next to me?!?! Anyways, we talked mostly about alternative schools, but it was cool to be talking to a derby celebrity!

The drive to every practice has me feeling nervous. I really want to make a team, I really love skating derby, but there's a part of myself that knows I'm such a newbie and I don't want to let whatever team I join down. The girls have all been super encouraging and I usually leave practice feeling ok and not beat down. Sometimes when I am doubting myself, I ask myself, do I derby because I love it, or do I want the status that comes with being on a premier team?

When self-doubt settles in, I often think the latter. Maybe I just want to be able to say that I got selected on a team, prove to my friends that I'm good enough. But once I strap on my skates and join the other women on the track, I feel so alive, liberated, and it is then when I know without a doubt that I do it because I love the sport along with the encouraging and accepting culture that surrounds it all.

Before skating with the league I was pretty set on joining a certain team. Mainly because most of my closer derby friends are on that team. However, after skating with different skaters and getting to know more girls, I think I would be happy with whoever takes me. The hot rods are an amazing team of diverse women from all walks of life. The Hustlers are relaxed, but they work hard at the same time. Hell Mary's have the reputation of being more strict, but the women who I've skated with are all super friendly. And then the Heartbreakers have an amazing team full of mentors who I've looked up to during my time in the rec league.

I found out today that the try-out period has been extended an extra week. This means I get more derby time and will have the opportunity to learn so much more. I still have a pretty good feeling that I'm going to get cut this time around. Of all the women trying out, I am the least experienced. Like Hellgha said, "Fall is a better time to join because you start fresh and have a chance to grow with your team." During mid-season try outs teams are looking for skaters who are ready to go. My only chance of getting in is if they want to pick me and plan on growing me through this season so I would be ready to go next season.

A part of me still feels guilty about leaving Steve to take care of the kids while I go play roller derby. But I need to not feel guilty. I have to remind myself that I'm doing this for me, but also for the kiddos too.

I still have 6 practices left! I'm going to try to learn as much as I can and see where things take me. So excited!

Mid Season Try-outs

On Sunday 4/28, I tried out for TXRG in their mid-season try outs. 4 Blisters around my ankles, a few small bruises, and a little bit of muscle soreness later, I ended up being moved on to their new skater training pool.

We started the practice with basic skills...check. I feel that the rec league prepared me pretty well for this portion. But then when we went on to drills and scrimmaging, I felt so nervous and was very timid to let others down, so I played it safe and mostly blocked. However, a few times I would decide to jam, I ended up getting out of the pack, earning lead jammer status. Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves, because I'm pretty sure it was the other blockers who did a good job and got me out of the pack. But nonetheless, it was moments like these that gave me a slight confidence boost.

Fast forward to tonight, the first new skater practice. First we had a brief 20 minute orientation on how the training will go and then we started the warm up and proceeded to drills. Note to self: work on hockey stops. These things are pretty much a must in modern roller derby. Plow stops are slow, maybe good for people who are beginning, but at the premier level, they really need to be a skill like breathing is.

To tell you the truth, I left practice tonight discouraged. The skaters seemed to be so much better than I am. I truly am a baby in the derby world.  I think I really just need more time scrimmaging and playing derby (and I've got to nail those hockey stops).  I have a pretty good feeling that I won't be drafted onto a team this time around. I simply don't have the skills needed to jump in and start playing at this elite level. However, I do love derby and I am going to use this as a chance to improve and become a better skater, regardless of the outcome.

I'm not going to worry too much, but instead, follow my motto of try my best and let God take over. If I'm meant to be drafted into the premier league this time, great. If not, I'm ok with that too. But in the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy all the derby.